Emotionally Constipated
by Frankenstein007
Summary: I think the reason as of why my heart still throbs a little every time I see him is not because I still love him, it's because I fell in love with the feeling of being able to be in love…you know? CHAPTER ONE (REWRITTEN)


**This is the edited version of the original chapter. VERY DIFFERENT from the first version...and with increase with word count? Haha, I tried to write longer but still very short.**

Chapter ONE

Verbal diarrhoea

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 _I think the reason as of why my heart still throbs a little every time I see him is not because I still love him, it's because I fell in love with the feeling of being able to be in love…you know?_

And as crazy as it all seems, my body just reacted in that way. It's like a conditioned reflex a dog gained upon hearing the sound of the bell. The bitch just starts to salivate on its own, wagging its tail in anticipation for the owner to come with a bowl of his leftover chicken bones. The stupid dog can't help but behave like that, after being forced to hear the sound for so long. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself, continuously, even after four years. I am the owner of my heart after all. I am certainly not in denial.

It's funnier when there wasn't even a fucking 'we' to begin with, if you even think there was a bittersweet love story between us, please think again. What really happened was a moment of insanity, a three-day trip gone wrong Romeo and Juliet tragic fiasco. You know how people make bad decisions once in a while. That guy just seems to have mastered the art of stealing innocent girl's hearts, shortly after learning how to crawl. People worshipped the very ground he walked as if they had finally found salvation by following the stench of his feet. It's quite alarming to see the number of kiss-asses tailing after his derrière is still ever so growing, those worshippers must have not experienced what fresh air had smelt like. May god bless their poor souls.

Fortunately, I was lucky enough to escaped from his clutches.

Even if he is everywhere.

And I mean everywhere. Literally.

At nineteen, that bastard managed to clinch the second top spot in the world of heroes. Decked in his flashy hero costume, he's seen saving the world while wearing that cocky arrogant smirk of his, throwing fireballs like nobody's business, taking the newspaper headlines every few days. It's hard to not think about him when he's mentioned in the news, tabloids and passing conversations. I can count the number of days his name is not mentioned without having used my fingers, there is never a need to. He is just that unforgettable. And annoying.

But one thing is for certain, despite his frequent appearances on the media, that man's private life is out for anyone's wild guesses. Heroes are the equivalent of Hollywood celebrities these days-one of the reason why he also has a fan club called Atsui Bakugou*-surprisingly, his personal life is squeaky clean. There's not much dirt the reporters had on him, their only source of gossip comes from his middle school days, namely, that slug incident. How the hell did they managed to speculate a possible bromance between him and Midoriya? It went beyond my ability of comprehension…Besides a new rumour had recently circulated around town saying Midoriya and gravity girl are secretly dating.

Though just to be clear, I have absolutely no interest in that asshole's love life. You can already picture how much of a 'romantic' he can be. You rarely see him act civil, but to go so far as to classify him as a romantic? Ha! Are you for real? The best compliment you can put before his name is sensitive, but even that is far-fetched. The few nice things he ever done were: throwing an umbrella at me when I am already half drenched by the rain, dumping a half-eaten sandwich at me when my stomach started growling, and pretending to not notice me crying to save my dignity.

See? Not romantic.

Overall, as much as I would like to stop being aware of that man's daily whereabouts, his presence always follows me around wherever I go that sometimes, even I wondered if I made the same impact as he had on me. Will he pause for a moment to stare at that same blue sky, just like the times we did during school lunch breaks? Or will he remember to stop being so picky about his food and eat all his vegetables like I told him to? It's hard when every time I think about it, it made me want to slap myself. It's been so long already. More specifically:

A thousand four hundred and sixty days have passed since middle school graduation.

A thousand four hundred and sixty days since we last met.

And a thousand four hundred and sixty days of _not_ missing him.

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 **I tried to write by following the stages of breakup-Denial, Anger and Longing/Sad. I thought it will be fun to pen it down. Hehe~so here it is! The revised version is out!**

 ***Atsui Bakugou means Hot Bakugou. It's kind of a lame double pun, if you get what I mean. I know I have absolutely no talent in making up names.**

 **But good news! I have continued with the plot! Well-kind of...School and inspiration just happens to get in the way you know. I do have a rough idea of how the entire storyline is going to turn out so don't worry. I will try not to be like those authors who discontinued their works.**

 **However one way to keep the motivation up is to click the follow/favourite button! Please let me know what you think about the newer version. It's honestly the reviews that made me sit down and write and hopefully churn out faster updates.**

 **So a big thanks to those who liked my story. I know I am still lagging in many ways but thank you for your support!**


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